Down by the Bay....

Living away from family and never knowing what the military will throw at you brings its ups and downs, but living in a beautiful place definitely eases the burden. After my grandad died this year, my great-grandma soon joined him. I was relieved, since she had suffered from dementia for so long, but my heart still ached knowing she wasn't on this Earth with us anymore. I remember simple things about her - her amazing jelly rolls and lemon tea, her plastic raincap, or how she always let me win in Monopoly. She was a prayer warrior and would pace the floor for hours, praying for loved ones and ones she didn't even know. I can almost hear her voice singing "The Bears Went Over the Mountain," as we cuddled on the front porch swing. That is the hardest - forgetting the voice, the touch, the smell. But we never, ever forget the life...or the impact. How can we? It is a part of who we are.

Andrew, the boys and I recently started taking weekly strolls down to the bay by our neighborhood. We stand at the top of the rocks and show the boys Okaloosa Island, Destin and the Niceville Bridge...way in the distance. The salt air and sound of water, and its endlessness, brings me peace. The boys love to throw rocks in the water and spot the occasional boat. It's a happy place for us. Somehow, no matter what is going on in life, it reminds me to be grateful for this short, yet beautiful time, and for the people in it.

♥♥♥

Valentine's Day

Seven years ago on Valentine's Day, Andrew proposed to me in a freezing park in Columbia, South Carolina. This year, I woke up to a sparkly-eyed little boy, asking, "Mom, where is my Valentine's surprise?" I'm used to waking up like this. My early bird (Maddox) rarely sleeps past 6 am. He is always the first one up. But on this special day, I popped out of the bed (instead of dragging), excited too.

The boys followed my treasure map and clues to find their candy. And guess what they had for breakfast? Candy! They also are pretty lucky when it comes to grandparents. They got a total of six adorable cards and racked up $70 altogether. 

Maddox got even more candy at school. It was almost Halloween-worthy.

Andrew got me some chocolate and I got him some chocolate and an iron skillet he's been wanting. No rings this year (like seven years ago), but I'm pretty sure we love each other more now than we did then. 

That evening, we celebrated at McGuire's Irish Pub and stuffed our faces with spinach dip, bread, our main course, and then a giant brownie topped with ice cream. 

It's been a fun February and I hope the trend continues through the rest of the month (and hopefully year). 

Oh! Back home in Carolina, they have had two days of snow! I'm pretty jealous, but I guess the view of the freezing cold water will have to do. 

A Look at 2013...According to January

January was split between Florida and South Carolina. It's a blur, but here are some snapshots to keep the moments a little more clear.

It was a month of hope, grief, sickness, and yet joy. No matter what, the old saying is true: life goes on. The hardest part for me is processing the tough times and appreciating the past while moving forward and savoring the present. 2013 has already forced me to look deeper, invest deeper and grow.... 

Andrew graduates ALS

Andrew finished ALS (Airman Leadership School) and we celebrated his graduation on Thursday. I'm thankful that the long days of him being gone, then coming home to eat and disappear again (to study all night and write essays) are over. I know he's thankful too!

Congratulations Andrew! It's another step  in our ever-changing adventure.

A New Year, A Final Farewell

Almost a month ago, we rang in the New Year. We had laughs and yummy food at a friend's house, then came home and barely stayed up til midnight. I wondered what 2013 would hold for us. Some good things, some bad...but I had no idea that 12 days later (my brother's birthday) I'd be getting a phone call that my Grandaddy Bill had passed away. He rang in his New Year...his last year here on Earth...in a hospital. And then it all ended. I'm so thankful he got to tell his final good-byes to everyone and that he was 100% ready to go. He knew where his true home was and he was eager to get there.

It's still hard to not see him one more time, hug him, or crack a joke about his beloved Clemson Tigers. I can still hear his laugh and picture his smile when he looked at the boys. And then other memories flood in from years ago...trips to the "candy store," a trip on his little fishing boat, seeing him in his fuzzy red recliner, or watching him tool around in the garage, one of his favorite places. He was a wonderful grandaddy. He loved to help people and never complained about it. He was quick to lend a tool (he had every tool that ever existed), a hand, and always his truck when my car was having problem. 

I was thankful I got to fly home for the funeral with the boys. It gave me some closure and it was a blessing to be surrounded by all the family. I wish my boys had more time with him, but hopefully they will remember him and I will be sure to fill them in with countless stories. 

I came home to find these trees, bare when I left, in full bloom. 

They're gorgeous. They remind me that things change quickly and nothing will last forever. Everything has a time and a season. We need to cherish what we have, love wholeheartedly, and remember what is important in life...not things, not "success" (however you define it), not activities...but the people in it who mean the world to us. 

New Year's Resolutions are getting a head start

I decided it was high time to get the boys to sleep in their own beds in their own rooms. Since Jude "lost" his paci 2 weeks ago, we have been driving or walking or rocking him to sleep. (Mostly Andrew, because he is a softie when it comes to crying). Our child who used to go to bed on his own (with his paci, of course) now couldn't fall asleep until midnight and then on top of that, he was waking up all night.

It's been an exhausting adventure.

\And then Maddox also has a huge sleep problem. Since he was 4-months-old, he's slept next to me. We read books, he touches my hair, and then he is out - at or before 7 pm every night. It was easy. No crying, no whining. But the bad part - he expected me to stay in there with him all night and I did (just to get sleep). 

Well, after going through all that screaming and sleep-deprivation with the paci, I figured why stop now? Let's fix these sleep issues once and for all!

So to help in the process, we took the boys to Build-a-Bear and let them pick out their special stuffed animal to sleep with them.

They were excited about their new "pets."

Maddox picked a rabbit and named him Spiderman; Jude picked a teddy bear and named him Baby.

Then we picked out a soundbox for them. They chose the "I love you" ones. 

The lady let Maddox step on the pedal to stuff the animals and then she put a red heart in each one.

 I kissed the hearts first and told the boys that was like Mommy's heart sleeping close to them every night. Maddox insisted I give his two kisses.

Before taking our pets home, the boys "washed" them and then we made them a birth certificate. Whoever came up with the idea of this store is a genius and most likely a very, very rich person.

Tonight is night #2 of our new bedtime routine. It has taken hours and lots of tears and pleas, but the boys are finally falling asleep in their beds with their stuffed animals tucked in next to them.

The saddest yet funniest moment came when Maddox told me how much he loved me and he loved me to sleep next to him. I told him to pray to Jesus and He would make him feel better and bring him all the comfort he needed.

Seconds later from the bedroom, I hear, "JESUS! JESUS! JEEEEEESUS!"

I sure do love my little guys, and truth be told, it's just as hard on me as it is for Maddox. I love snuggling that sweet boy every night. 

But some changes must happen, and are good in the long run...even if we fight them every step of the way. 

Growing up never gets easier.